Why Do I Feel Worse in the Summer?

A researcher named Tali Sharot has spent much of her career studying what she calls the “optimism bias,” the human tendency to overestimate how good future experiences will be. We do this with vacations, with weekends, with milestones. And we do it, reliably and consistently, with summer.

The expectation goes something like this: once the school year ends, once the schedule loosens and the weather warms, we expect to feel better, relaxed, and present. This expectation feels so reasonable that most people don’t recognize it as an expectation. It feels like a fact. Which is precisely why, when summer arrives and you don’t feel better, the experience can be disorienting in a way that a hard winter never is.

The expectation gap

Psychologists have a term for the distress that arises when reality falls short of anticipated experience: expectation violation. The pain is not just about the current moment. It is about the distance between where you thought you would be emotionally and where you are. A mediocre Tuesday in March is just a mediocre Tuesday. A mediocre Tuesday in July, when you expected to feel free and restored, becomes evidence of a larger problem.

What summer takes away

Beyond the expectation gap, summer removes several things that many people depend on for emotional stability without realizing it. Routine is the most obvious as the  school year provides a predictable structure that regulates mood, sleep, and energy. However, when that dissolves, the freedom can feel wonderful for a week before the absence of rhythm starts to take a toll. Unstructured time sounds like a gift, but for people prone to anxietyGlossaryAnxietyA group of mental health conditions characterized by excessive fear, worry, and related behavioral disturbances. Includes generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and specific phobias. or low mood, it can become a container for ruminationGlossaryRuminationThe tendency to repetitively think about the causes, consequences, and symptoms of negative emotions, often prolonging and intensifying distress..

Identity is more subtle. During the school year, most people have clear defined roles. When summer comes along, those lines become blurred. If your children are at camp, a significant part of your daily identity as a caretaker is on pause. If they’re home, your role may intensify in ways that feel relentless rather than fulfilling. Either shift can leave you untethered from the sense of purpose that kept you steady during busier months.

Social life changes too. The friends we rely on may be traveling or absorbed in their own family schedules. The casual contact points of school and community events thin out. You may find yourself with fewer meaningful interactions per week even though your calendar suggests you should have more time for connection.

Lowering the bar on purpose

The most useful thing you can do this summer may be the least intuitive: expect less. Initially, this may sound pessimistic.  But in truth, it is a deliberate recalibration that research suggests leads to greater satisfaction. When you stop requiring summer to be magical and allow it to simply be a season with its own mix of good and hard days, the pressure valve releases.

Give yourself permission to maintain structure even when the season says you shouldn’t need it. Exercise, morning routines, and sleep schedules are crucial anchors. Building in a few weekly structures truly pays off. A regular walk, a standing phone call, or a Shabbos commitment, can help to prevent the days from blurring together into shapelessness.

Summer doesn’t owe us transformation. When someone asks if we’re enjoying the summer and the honest answer is “not especially,” sharing the truthful answer is completely acceptable. The performance of seasonal happiness is a pressure many of us feel. A season that is simply okay, with a few bright spots and a few hard stretches and a lot of ordinary days in between, can still be a season well lived.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.